The Sip 'n Dip, Great Falls

Well I’m a bit late with week 4 of Too Drunk to Cry. I’d like to say it’s been busy and just didn’t have to get to it and blah blah blah, but really, I’ve got no excuse. I’ve pretty much been stuck at home just like all of the rest of you and it’s not like I’ve been crazy busy with crafting or baking or some crap like that. Pure laziness. Anyway with that being said, I’ve decided to get back to writing and hopefully I can come up with an exciting or at least entertaining story for everyone to read. I’ll tell you this week about a place that will probably come up a number of times if I write this blog for any length of time. This week I’m going to talk about a little place 250 miles south of home, voted by GQ Magazine as one of the best bars in America to fly to, the one and only Sip ‘n Dip Tiki Lounge in beautiful Great Falls Montana!

Jeez where to start with this little gem? I’m sure lots of you have been there, and if you haven’t, then you know someone who has. How about I start with the location? Great Falls is probably one of my favorite places on planet earth, it’s a real cowboy town, running on farmers, ranchers and a little bit of oil. Just east of downtown in this great Montana city is an old time motel, The O’Haire Motor Inn. From the outside it looks like any 1950’s motor inn, built out of cinder blocks in a horseshoe shape around a main courtyard but as soon as you get to the front desk you’ll realize that you’re in someplace different. I was checking in with my wife, Jenn one time and she asked the desk clerk about the availability of any suites and the old bird said ‘Honey, we’ve got suites but not the kind you’re thinking of. This used to be a businessman’s hotel’. I’m not totally sure what that means but it’s sure interesting to think about. There’s some history in that place for sure. Now, the Sip ‘n Dip is the upstairs lounge at the hotel and I’m pretty sure it’s the only tiki bar in Montana and I guarantee it’s the only one with mermaids. It’s just a really good time all the way around.

When you walk into the bar the first thing you’ll notice is the long bar running across the room. Then you’ll notice that it’s a great aquamarine color with a classy vinyl bumper pad that runs the whole length of it. After a long day you might think the bumper pad would make a good pillow, I assure you that the barmaid won’t agree. I’ve heard that she’s likely to say something profound like ‘I don’t drink in your bed so don’t sleep at my bar’, just before she asks you to leave. The bar stools are the same high tone color. The back bar is dominated by 3 windows into the rooftop swimming pool. A friend told me a story about splashing around in the pool with his wife and then heading down to the bar, only to realize that everyone in the joint had seen what they were up to.

When the public isn’t mucking around in the pool is when the mermaids come out to frolic, and the prime seating is up at the bar. You’ll usually see one or two mermaids in their natural habitat, doing tricks with hula hoops and so forth. One time I was there with Jenn and wasn’t paying close attention when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a topless mermaid. Naturally I needed to take a closer look and this is when I found out, to my disappointment, that there is occasionally mermen swimming in the pool. I wanted to write a letter to management but Jenn convinced me that it takes all kinds. The ceiling above the bar is made out of bamboo and to really set off the tiki bar vibe, the arborite on tables in the booths has seahorses and seashells printed upon it. All of this adds up to make this place unbelievably popular for everyone. It’s almost like that David Allen Coe song where the bikers stare at cowboys who are laughing at the hippies, except nobody is worried about getting out of there alive. Girls on their bachelor party scavenger hunts get piggybacked across the bar by hillbillies while Air Force men from Malmstrom Ice each other in the middle of the room. The Sip ‘n Dip is usually packed and everyone seems to get along.

Even as special as this bar is just with what I’ve already told you about, the true shining light at the Sip ‘n Dip, and really in all of north-central Montana, is Piano Pat. The Montana Icon. Pat is the long time in house entertainment and you’ll find her parked behind her piano stand just inside and to the right of the main door. She’s been there for over 50 years I think. I remember the first time I saw her play, she was plunking away on that damned piano, chain smoking cigarettes and belting out American Standards like nobody’s business. There’s no more smoking allowed in Montana bars but that hasn’t taken the edge off of old Pat’s singing voice. Crowd participation is a must and you’re likely to hear Sweet Caroline and I Love this Bar two or three times if you stay long enough. She is really something, on her own she’s worth the drive to see.

Like I’ve said earlier, the place is usually full, but in the summertime, they set up a patio bar in the upper parking lot. The patio bar doesn’t have Pat or mermaids but it’s a good place to have a few drinks and meet other people. If things work out right you might wind up there on karaoke night. It’s good entertainment but don’t expect to get a chance to sing. It’s not like a regular karaoke night, the old guy that brings the karaoke machine and PA system is the only one allowed to use it. He’s not very good and it looks like he can barely stand up but it’s his machine, so I guess he gets to make the rules. It makes for a pretty neat dynamic.

I’m sure I’m missing things in this and I know that I’ve got lots of stories about the Sip ‘n Dip. Every time we go to Great Falls I have to stop in there, which is easy because I try to stay exclusively at The O’Haire. Livingstone Equipment gets a corporate rate, thanks Alberta Wade. It’s truly a bar where everyone is welcome, there’s no misfits and no dead beats. You can sit up at the bar and make friends with that weird little dude that’s taking notes on everything he sees or you can strike up a conversation with the lady next to you that has a shih tzu in her purse (her boyfriend went to high school with the Dickenson brothers, must have taken grade 12 fifteen times before they got there though). You could even run into The Hammer, he’s a carney in town during fair days, you’ll know him because it says ‘Hammer’ on the back of his basketball jersey. You’ll meet people from all over and you might run into someone from home, just watch out that the pilots don’t Ice you, because they’ll make you sing a song too.

I hope you all enjoy this one, if you get there make sure that you tip the mermaids and sing along with Pat.

Thanks

CP

#Montana #PianoPat #OHaire #SipnDip